Who Are You to Judge Your Neighbor

Numbers 11:4-6, 10-16, 24-29
Psalm 19:7-14
James 4:7-12
Mark 9:38-43, 45, 47-48

Tim Christoffersen
St. Timothy's
September 28, 2003

“So, then, who are you to judge your neighbor?”  Last Sunday, Kathy shared with us a role model for how we can have it both ways.  When her husband Tom’s grandmother did not want to acknowledge she understood something unpleasant or not in her interest, she “no speaka da English” and it appeared she did not understand.

            I sometimes wish I did not understand what it meant to judge your neighbor.  This passage from James nails me in the heart.  I am embarrassed to admit how often I judge my neighbor or my brother or sister.  It is one of my most persistent faults and unchristian behaviors.

            I also know it is pretty easy to pass it off as “no big thing,” just a little misplaced humor.  Two weeks ago during the Fruits of the Harvest, I was talking with one of you.  We were speaking about a clergyperson whom we both knew fairly well.  The clergyperson often came across to others as a more than a little self important, but we also knew he had a heart of gold.  I went on to make a comment about him, in a joking vein, which was a little harsh. The member of the parish with whom I was speaking said, in a gentle way, “Don’t be judgmental.”  He nailed me and there was no wiggle room.

            His gentle rebuke brings our awareness to another aspect of judging that we find clearly set out in Scripture.  In the passage in Luke that parallels the reading we just heard from Mark, there is an additional verse: “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him”.  Paul says, in the letter to the Galatians [6:1-3], Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.  So the member of our parish family who gently reproved me also eliminated the temptation to join in himself.

            At first blush, it strikes us that maybe we are also called to judge our brother or sister.  But let’s go back to the reading from James.  “Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it.  When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it”.

            And what is the heart of God’s Law?  Remember when the Pharisees had come to Jesus, with an expert in the Law, seeking to trick him? They asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment in the Law.  Most of us know the answer Jesus gave.

            So if the great commandment includes loving our neighbor as our self, what are the circumstances and conditions under which we are called to exercise judgment or discernment?

And how is it different from judging our neighbor?

            I believe it all pivots or turns around our ego and our sense of self importance. We are clearly called to exercise judgment and discernment.  We read in Proverbs. “My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you and an ornament to grace your neck.” In Leviticus we read, “judge your neighbor fairly…rebuke your neighbor frankly so that you will not share in his guilt.”

            Paul makes clear in the Letter to the Philippians we are to have a loving and humble attitude.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of us should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Our ego and self importance are to take a back seat.

            There is a wonderful story in the Jewish Talmud tradition that goes far in giving a sense of what it means to judge your neighbor fairly or righteously.  Rabbi Yisroel Ciner tells a wonderful story.

            There is a man from the Upper Galilee who worked for a man in the south for three years. On the eve of Yom Kippur the worker approached his employer in order to receive his wages but was told that he had no money with which to pay him. "Then pay me with fruits," he requested, but he was again refused. His pleas for payment in the forms of land, animals and finally bedding were all turned down. Empty-handed, he slung his belongings over his back and began the long trek home.

After the holidays, the employer made the trip up north bringing the wages along with three donkeys laden with food, drinks and delicacies. He paid the worker and they then sat down to eat a festive meal together. Afterwards, the employer curiously asked his worker "When you asked for your hard-earned wages and I told you that I had no money, what were your thoughts?"

"I assumed that an opportunity had arisen to buy wares at a very cheap price and you were left without any available cash," the worker responded.

"And when I refused your request for animals, what were you thinking?"

"Perhaps all of your animals had been rented out," he replied.

"And land?"

"Perhaps it all had been given over to sharecroppers."

"And fruits?"

"Perhaps you hadn't yet had the opportunity to properly tithe them."

"And when I refused to pay you in bedding?"

"I assumed that you had pledged all of your property to be given for holy purposes."

The employer turned incredulously to the worker and swore that was exactly what had happened…

Jewish commentators tell us that the one of the greatest of Jewish sages, Rabbi Akiva, was that worker.  Rabbi Akiva had only began studying the Torah when he turned forty and that he was a laborer in his early years.

We have focused on loving or judging our neighbor.  There are probably many here today that also judge themselves harshly.  Let me share a story that suggests it is as difficult to stop judging ourselves, as it is to stop judging others.  The story concerns a hospice patient that I have been seeing regularly for the last several months.  It was apparent in my first visit that he had been deeply wounded by an incident that involved a distant relative and the important material possessions of the patient.  The incident occurred after this man had become bedridden and unable to get up.  The essence of the incident was the patient and his wife put up this distant relative and his wife for a period of time. He realized near the end of this extended visit that the relative had been systematically going through his possessions and was in the process of taking many of them.  He debated calling the police but did not do it. 

We have talked about this incident virtually every week.  The actions of this distant relative left a deep wound.  But an equally deep if not deeper wound has been his judgment upon himself for his failure to call the police. That is what troubled him most deeply.  This perceived failure had been consuming him.  As the weeks have passed and he has been able to keep revisiting his thoughts and feelings, the wound has slowly healed.  While he still believes he should have called the police, the harshness of his self judgment has diminished greatly and he has now reached a state of peace within himself.

 Whether the challenge is judging others or judging ourselves, the message to me is straightforward.  Scripture is clear.  Yet on a human level it remains a difficult and arduous undertaking.  May God grant us the grace to be up to the task. 

Amen.